reading old waid cap, having a lot of feelings about sharon carter
she’s so angry and embittered and she has EVERY RIGHT TO BE but she still desperately wants to protect the world, and cares so much about steve despite herself
the mission is all that matters
she must have repeated that in her head like a fucking mantra while she was left behind because it was all she had
and she so clearly doesn’t know how to live any other way, not after years of that
and steve just doesn’t understand, he looks at her and sees the woman he lost (like there is literally a scene where that happens, i love waid but he ain’t subtle)
and of course she sees that, it just adds to her resentment and makes her more of a jackass, she’d like to go back but she fucking can’t
just UGH i love her so much
Reblog if you want your followers to anonymously ask you one thing they want to know about you.
wolverine has in-canon died arguably just as many times as jean grey but for some reason nobody makes rude jokes about that constantly
and he’s certainly been resurrected more quickly
like, at most, jean has died three times: on the shuttle, on the moon, and by xorneto. she was dead after the dark phoenix saga for six years, and it’s been a decade since new x-men.
wolverine died when Death ran him through, except within a year we find out it was a skrull. gorgon murdered him, but the hand resurrected him - again, within a year.
and now he’s dying again, and no one’s sneering about how it won’t last.
Fun fact about American health care: if I ever need an organ transplant, I’ll somehow have to hide my autism, depression, and anxiety from the doctors, or else I’ll be disqualified under ideas about quality of life. It’s really great to know how valued disabled and neurodivergent lives are.
So here’s a thing many people don’t know about me: I used to be a medical data analyst. (I still do it occasionally, but not as a full-time job.) It’s a pretty self-explanatory job: I took data - often in enormous datasets - and analyzed it to find patterns. (Obviously, we couldn’t associate these with individual patients; this was just after HIPAA had come into effect, and so this data was very heavily scrubbed to remove any identifiable information.)
One of the patterns I looked for was quality of life and quality of care for people with severe and persistent mental illness (SPMI). For our purposes, that meant major depression, bipolar disorder, general anxiety disorder, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, and “other SPMI” (I encourage you to not send me messages telling me how those categories are terrible, because a) it was ten years ago and b) I wasn’t in charge of the categories.) In particular, we looked at injury, illness, and death in people with SPMI, compared with the general population, while they were in the hospital and at certain intervals after they were released (30 days, 60 days, 90 days, 180 days, and 1 year).
People with severe and persistent illness were much more likely to become ill and/or die in the hospital or shortly after discharge than the “general population”. People with schizophrenia had nearly ten times the deaths while in the hospital, and twelve times the injuries and illnesses.
Just as telling were the notes associated with the patient records. There was a significant pattern in the terminology used. In patients in the “general population”, doctors tended to use the word “is”: for example, “patient is suffering from abdominal cramping”. In patients with SPMI, doctors tended to use the phrase “claims to be”: for example, “patient claims to be suffering from abdominal cramping”.
It was clear to us that medical professionals - in general, I know for a fact that there are doctors out there who don’t do this - were assuming that patients with severe and persistent mental illness were inventing some, if not all, of their symptoms - that the symptoms were not real, and therefore did not need to be treated.
And because of that, these patients were falling ill and dying at alarming rates.
This isn’t personal anecdotes. I spent more than a year analyzing this data - which came from actual hospitals in the United States - and finding these patterns. There’s a problem here.
(I would prefer not to give out the name I was using then in public here, but if you’re interested, message me privately and I’ll see if I can get you links to the articles.)
I* believe there is similar data on Developmental Disabilities. In policy discussions it is not uncommon to hear health issues, both mental and physical, attributed to the DD without investigating if it were accurate or not.
I’ve had chronic abdominal pain for years.
I’ve had to deal with a lot of doubt and dismissal, but I’ll always specfically remember the doctor who, the moment he found out I was bipolar, decided it was psychosomatic.
karmacharge asked: So for mutant powers I'm intrigued by Helena Bertinelli (of course) and Natasha Romanoff.
I ended up ficcing Helena’s! Warning for child abuse. And also some murder, shocker.